Funny Prayer Good God Lets Eat
Debbie enjoys writing prayers for a variety of occasions and sharing them with others.
These prayers show thanks for your food in a way that's sure to get a few laughs at the table.
Photo by Chris Liverani on Unsplash
Here are some humorous prayers I've written about food, plus a few from other writers. Share these at your holiday table or just your regular dinner table!
Good Food
Good food,
Good meat,
Good God,
Let's eat!
By Cousin Buddy
(When we were kids, my Cousin Buddy from Ohio would always say this prayer.)
Debbie T. Alsup
Secret Kitchen Dinner Prayer
Dear Lord,
as you know,
We asked those who we knew
could make a meat dish sublime,
And those who we knew
prepare questionable meals all the time,
each to do their part,
so none would feel lefted out,
the real cookers,
will bring the meat dishes,
excuse us Lord,
the others will wash them out.
We thank you God for this meal
Bless our thoughts to be truthful
and our words to not be mean,
we just want this dinner
to be one of the best we've seen.
Amen.
Debbie T. Alsup
Thank You Grandma
Thank you Grandma,
For this food,
That you have made soooo good,
Wrung the chicken,
Plucked it's feathers,
Lit the fire,
Chopped the wood,
Folded the mixture
Watched it rise,
Baked the bread,
Picked the fruit,
Made 6 pies,
Shucked the corn,
Washed them clean,
Whew!
I'm tired,
Lord,
Bless this scene.
Debbie T. Alsup
Clarity
Dear Lord,
I pray my soufflé doesn't drop,
my biscuits make their rise,
I pray my new prune pudding
puts clarity in a few new eyes.
Amen.
Debbie T. Alsup
A Funny Prayer
Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
Incited by my wicked diet.
"We are what we eat," said a wise old man,
Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
To rise on
, it's plain,
With my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength that I may not fall,
Into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
That my soul may be polyunsaturated
And show me the light that I may bear witness,
To the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
For the road to Hell is paved with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
And Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in pepperoni,
The Devil himself in each slice of bologna.
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
And Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice,
Cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
Deliver me from jujube's.
And when my days of trial are done,
And my war with malted milk balls won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe -- size 30 long.
I can do it Lord, if you'll show to me,
The virtues of lettuce and celery.
Teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
And of pasta a la Milanese.
And crisp-fried chicken from the South,
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth!
Amen
By Maiou
Jesus Fed
Lazarus rose,
Moses Led,
Noah built,
Jesus fed.
Amen
Debbie T. Alsup
Thank You
Thank you for this food we'll eat,
Thank you for this meet and greet,
Thank you for the hands that hold
the pots and the mixing bowl.
Our Father
Our Father who art in heaven,
Thank you for family,
Thank You for friends,
Thank you for __________ ( fill in whatever name or title you like)
Not,
Burning the food again.
Amen.
Debbie T. Alsup
A Farm Family Prayer
Glory To Thee O Lord,
We gather together once again
To Thank you for the gracious plenty
our farm has yielded this year,
Thank you for livestock growth,
fruit overwhelming
corn from ear to ear,
Now let's raise our glasses
filled with our own fresh milk for a toast,
enjoy the fruits of our labor
dig in and have seconds
on the pot roast.
Amen.
Debbie T. Alsup
Shush
This food we bless
to stand the test
of great cooks
we have known,
Let your palate
be the mallet
and keep any unpleasant comments
for your ride back home.
Amen.
Debbie T. Alsup
"I Can't Cook"
Dear Lord,
Just a note to you,
Help my laziness in the kitchen.
I know I can do better.
When the ladies guild
asks me to bring a dish,
"I can't cook," always my reply
"She can't cook,"
echoes in the background
or a few mumbling voices standing by,
but I happily bring in
a can or two
of vegetables to my delight
to add to the list of the
church menu that night.
Help me to practice my cooking skills.
Amen.
Debbie T. Alsup
All In
Lord,
Thank you for the many gifts
of silver and of gold,
Thank you for the biggest bird
our eyes have been blessed
to unfold,
Thank you for the stomachs full
that will leave this room,
Thank you that all make sure
before they go,
to remember
to wipe the table,
wash a dish
or use a broom.
Amen.
Debbie T. Alsup
You Might Also Enjoy:
- 12 Christian Prayer Selections for Saying Grace Before a Meal
Saying grace before meals is a great way to incorporate faith into your day-to-day routine. Here are 12 prayer selections that are perfect for mealtime. - 10 Funny Prayers to Show Thanks for Your Food
These 10 funny prayers to show thanks for your food can be used for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, any holiday or non holiday meal. Say the prayers at breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner or whenever appropriat - 12 Thanksgiving Prayer Selections
This Thanksgiving prayer selection is perfect for Thanksgiving dinner. Prayer before breakfast, lunch, brunch, or any occasion is always appropriate. These are easy to read and memorize.
© 2009 BIGCSSHOP
Source: https://letterpile.com/humor/12funnyprayerstoshowthanksforyourfood
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